Onion Peeling

Onion Peeling

What I have drawn is a Mandela inside of a Mandela. This represents the role of a therapist very patiently and very delicately reaching to the inside of a person’s innermost being. If a person is struggling with doubts, fears, hurts and insecurities of the future, as I am sensitive and skillful in reaching them where they are with my words, compassion and understanding, my goal is to get them to open up.  And to see why they are where they are and what measures they may be able to take toward release, toward healing, toward freedom.  

Mirror

Mirror mirror in my hand
When I look at you what do I see? 
When I look deep inside your eyes
What are they reflecting to me and to this world?
Do I really see you as I really am? 
Or do I see you as I want to see you? 
Or do I see you as others see you?
Do I see confidence shining through those eyes?
Or do I see the fears that have been hidden for so many years? 
Do I see someone who avoids confrontation at all costs? 
Or do I see someone with confidence to face those fears 
No matter what they may be 
Knowing that God is with me
Every step of the way.

Meeting with Jenn Kristel, 10/28/14 notes

     This is in response to what I learned from my October 28 meeting with Jennie.  I took notes, and am typing them up to help me remember what was taught and discussed regarding the subject of art therapy.
I was asked what I wanted to learn next and I told her I wanted to learn to use pastel, to which she asked me, water or oil based?  I told her I had some at home that I was afraid to use, because they are new to me and I don't know what to do with them.  (Turns out they are oil based.) She proceeded to give me a lovely lesson on the use of both the chalk and the oil based pastels.  First, she told me I needed to get over my fear of trying the new medium, so that I will be able to help someone else do the same.  We both agreed that I should go home, try out the new medium, and write down how I felt about trying out the different approach to expressive art.  The getting over the fear piece can be a powerful tool, so I will use the pastels for my next directive and write about the result.  The term resist was taught to me as being firm in it's nature to stay put on the paper, so when another medium is placed over it, it won't move or change shape.  We experimented with the pastel chalks and the oil based pastels with the resisting principles at play.  Jenn used the phrase "I don't know" in respect to how certain pastels would relate to each other, and said "I live in an I don't know world".  I love the humility that comes with this statement, and the impression that it gives me as the student is, that we are exploring and learning together.  I'm sure she must use this with her clients to help break down any barriers that might be keeping the client from letting down their inhibitions, which may be keeping them from receiving what they need to learn.
     Learn your client and learn the mood they are in.   By doing so, you will learn which medium will be the best to use in the therapy session. I will need more information on this subject.  Dry medium are: pencils, pens, pastels, chalks.  Pencils offer the most control.  Chalk use is a way to express feelings.  Oils are used to help work through things.  Making lists, and getting organized can be a way of helping the client.  Collage use is good for visioning things.  Use of non-dominant hand and watercolors can force access to parts of self needed for problem solving.  Wet materials would be:  watercolors, clay, acrylics, paper mache', clay.  For some, she may have client explore a different medium every ten minutes.  I have a note on my paper that says soap note.  I must ask Jenn what that means.
     The next few minutes were spent skyping with the other Master's student taking a class with Jenn.      Jenn suggested showing safe ways to cathart:  Use a pillow and throw it on the floor (visiting someone's past) or to paper shred, by turning a negative into a positive by making an art piece with the shredded paper.  Four ethics pieces we are to be secure in our understanding of, are:  confidentiality, no harm, no judgement position, (we must have waivers signed including subjects of injuries and confidentiality) and voluntary participation (no one is forced, but address fear and anger).  If using psychodrama to work through a rape issue, the one chosen to be the rapist or the raped (figuratively), must be able to emotionally handle the role.  If no one is available,use an empty chair.  Peter Rowan is a well known psycho dramatist who works well with children. Our goal is to help the victim identify the role of survivor.  Don't do role reversal with the protagonist.
     Jenn makes it a rule to not work with people who are high or not willing to work on addictions.  She will try to get them to substitute with another cup of coffee for example.  She may ask them to look at what it's doing to your family. She says she is not qualified to work with addicts and refers them to Act 1, a place to detox in Burlington, on Pearl Street.
   

Final Paper proposal

In conclusion to the class Introduction to Art Therapy, I would like to combine things I have learned along with things not yet learned for the final paper.   The main topics I hope to cover in my final paper will be:  Benefits of Art Therapy, including scientific findings on how the brain works to problem solve; terminology related to the field of art therapy, and the importance of being a skilled artist. My goal is to read Malchiodi's handbook of Art Therapy as well as well as Moon's Introductory to Art Therapy to help with the findings for the final paper.  I will also do a brief synopsis of the role of spirituality in the therapy room using the chapter on Art Therapy from a Jewish perspective from the book Spirituality and Art Therapy, and Francis Schaeffer's book Art and the Bible.

I closed my eyes yesterday, and this vision came to my mind. I decided to sketch it and make a brief statement of what it expresses and means to me.  An old man is sitting on his front porch steps holding a walking stick and looking down at the ground.  He is contemplating how he has spent his life, what challenges and struggles he has overcome and had to deal with, successes as well as failures.  He appears lonely, as if his life was spent without purpose and without quality relationships.  Sad.

My goal is to be able to draw better, especially joints like arms, hands and feet.  I intend to redraw this man with more focus on this type of skill.  Pulling stuff out of my head is a stretch for me.  This whole idea of the picture in my head making it down to the paper was a new concept for me as well as my written words to accompany it.  But I really enjoyed doing it, and what it could perhaps mean to someone who actually puts themselves in the old man's shoes, either already aged, or someone in their youth with a whole lifetime ahead of them.  Contemplative picture, hoping to speak to someone regarding their own life's journey.

Reflection of wooden plaque project

October 9, 2014

     I asked my daughter to pick up a piece of wood at the local craft store knowing that I needed to make a wedding gift for my nephew who is getting married this month.  She came home with a beautifully sanded and shaped piece that I knew would be perfect.  I have never painted on wood of this nature, so I felt that since I am striving to try as many different mediums as possible, I would give it a try.  I first had to sand it, but when I did, I found that some of the wood left cracks and crevices that needed to be filled with putty.  I happen to have the kind you mix with water, so I did that once or twice, until I got it right and had to sand in between applications.  After that, I gessoed the wood to prepare it for paint, and painted the whole top the color beige.  Then using a pencil, I drew on the pattern, before attempting to paint.  I free handed with the help of a curved C piece all along the edge of the board.  I used the computer to help make letter stencils which I had to cut out, because my free hand lettering skills would not have looked near as nice.  I painted with two of the colors I knew were two colors the bride liked, turquoise and purple, in interesting combination.  So their last name, Royalty, was done with one color being stronger than the other, and I did the opposite for Home Est. 2016.  It was fun doing the textured look, much less boring than one color.

     I used a pair of scissors that had been handed down to me from my Grandmother, that were specifically made to do the paper craft called Scherenschnitte.  I’d done our family portraits and framed them, and will always treasure what they represent.  So, the thought occurred to me that the couple might enjoy having their silhouettes on the plaque for a keep-sake.  This was the hardest part of the whole project.  The details of their profiles were tiny once I’d shrunk their pictures to fit the plaque, and I had difficulty putting it on the wood.  If I painted all the way to the line I’d drawn, they wouldn’t look right, because it would make their faces larger.  So I painted, then removed the lines I’d put down.  I used a paint called guache which I’d never used before.  It covered nicely, but also came up rather easily when I needed to remove some, which was good, but also challenging.  Finally, I spray lacquered the finished piece several times to protect it.

The portrait, being the most challenging, took the most time, and the most attention to detail.  In one of the art therapy books I’ve been reading, I was reminded, that learning to slow down in order to do a good job, is something I need to work on.  So this was my opportunity.  Not having a great paintbrush to do detail work, I ended up trying about five different brushes before I found one that did a good enough job. I began from the outside and worked my way toward the nose and chins, all the while talking to God and to myself.  I was asking Him to help me, and telling myself “I can do this”.  I had the faith that He would help me, and He did, so I’m happy and grateful. 

     I’m hoping that this plaque is enjoyed by my nephew and his new bride, but it means so much more than paint on a piece of wood.  I’m showing them that I love and support them in this new journey they are embarking on by giving them this labor of love.  The silhouette of them will always be a treasure, reminding them of their love and devotion to each other.  Strong healthy marriages take work, and they are not easy to come by these days. 

As far as using this art piece as an art therapy directive, my explanation of why is because of what it represents.  It’s a family treasure now.  I used my creativity to design the board, and picked something of meaning to place on the board, the family name, and the profiles of the couple getting married.  I allowed myself to spend hours completing this piece and showed my willingness to invest myself in their lives in this way.  I could have gone out and purchased a gift card, but that is impersonal, and this is not.  Allowing myself the privilege to be creative with the design to me was therapeutic.  I loved: creating the pattern; the actual application of the paint; using a new surface (wood) and new paint (guache), standing back to admire the work; and I look forward to the unwrapping of the gift knowing the many years of enjoyment and feelings of love it will express, love from me, and love toward each other.

I am attaching my family's silhouettes I completed about 12 years ago.

When you see the plaque of the couple, their picture is just there to show them but it’s not attached on the front.  I put it on the back.

Last evening was spent experimenting with a new art medium using water based oils and tissue paper.  I used what I had on hand, and seemed to make a good start with the idea of "touch drawing".  I visited the website of Deborah Koff-Chapin and was able to adventure into a new area of expression through art.

First I gathered materials of:  tissue paper, water based oils ( I had the colors white, red, blue and yellow), a squeegee ( in place of a roller), a plastic coated canvas.  I had a leaf close by, as one of my Fall decorations on the table, that I ended up using also.

I spread yellow paint at the top of the canvas, and blue paint at the bottom using the squeegee to make it nice and even.  I'm not sure if I used too much, so I will try less, the next time around.  Then I applied a piece of tissue paper that I'd cut to be about the same size as the canvas and laid it on top.  It immediately began to absorb the paint, but I did touch drawing anyway.  Because of the crinkles in the tissue paper, it made an interesting design.  I focused on using my fingernails to make more of an impression, using both hands simultaneously, and mirroring each hand, like Koff-Chapin showed in one of her teaching videos.   Initially, I used the colors of yellow and blue thinking that the yellow would represent light, or sun and the blue would represent water.  Those are two powerful colors in themeselves.  But knowing that the blue mixing with the yellow would make green was another opportunity to represent something, and that something, was the green found in nature.  I look forward to doing studies regarding colors, how to use them effectively, and in combination with each other.  I looked for any kind of scribble that might be turned into something meaningful, and was surprised to see the sign of a cross that just showed up without any effort on my own.  

I called my daughter up to witness my art experiment and she became involved in the process.  I'm so glad that I can share my love of art with someone close to me.  It not only inspires me, but her as well.  She became interested in the touch drawing idea because she is always looking for ways to get her babies involved in sensory stimulation in the daycare where she is employed.  She figured she could get the babies to hit the paper to make a design.  Not only would it be a way to get babies and toddlers involved, but they would have a way to brighten up the room as well.  My daughter suggested some kind of sticker shape to be under the tissue paper that might make it more interesting, and that is when I reached for the leaf.  I added some red and some more blue and yellow (to make green) and then smoothed it out with the squeegee.  You can see from the pictures how beautiful the prints came out. So we not only had a reversal picture from where the leaf was, we were able to take the leaf and use it as a print itself. 

Sensory involvement, using the imagination for the designs and pure joy from making something from almost nothing was the reason for this directive.  I look forward to learning better how to actually make a design, and I look forward to the oil paints drying so we can hang them up to enjoy them.  I may even make greeting cards from pieces of the tissue paper by cutting them and gluing them on card stock along with a nice message.  Tissue paper is not that easy to cut smoothly so I will be sure to use sharp scissors and find a glue that will not ruin the art to mount them.  The next time I do this, I will play music of inspiration that helps me connect to my "higher power", and see if it helps me in the process.  

Looking forward to reading the book I have ordered, Spirituality and Art.  The second session of meeting with Jenn, covered a basic understanding of where we are each coming from in our understanding of faith.  It was an uncomfortable time for us, as we don't see eye to eye on the religion aspect of life, and it is a major difference in our approach to helping others.  But I don't see it as an obstacle in learning the processes of art as therapy, and am actually excited to be venturing off into an area that may be a newer approach to helping people, using the Bible and the art as expression to dealing with life struggles.

I failed to type up meeting notes from our first session, so I will do it now to the best of my recollection.

Debora Koff-Chapen has developed "touch drawing" using water based oil paint.  It's important to stay away from the toxic chemicals.  Another appoach is using the non-dominant hand.  Julia Cameron's books are a good resource.  The book, Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, is another good one.

Jenn asked me to think about my present position as the manager of a thrift shop and how I would approach helping someone using the available materials, for example, with decision making and goals.  This is an excellent study that I need to develop considering all of the different ways that the shop could be used as a place for volunteers to find purpose, focus and discipline.  It may also be a place where we could do art as a way to keep them engaged in a positive way.  Jenn stated that expectations would need to be clearly defined at the beginning to minimize conflict.  We mentioned the possibility of an art show with the participants works.  I
*Doug Nap is an artist to investigate.
Different art mediums to consider:  Tissue paper on oil, sand tray, converational drawing with two people using one piece of art (one person draws, then passes it to the other to draw).  And a vision board, which I really like the idea of.  It is done over a period of time, not just one session.  A large board is divided into three vertical sections and labeled past, present, and future.  Clipping magazines and such to show pictures of where the participants have seen themselves and are envisioning themselves to be. I'm so excited to be learning  lots of different ways for people to express themselves, and I'm looking forward to learning more ideas.

Second One on One meeting with Jenn, typed up notes:

The Young Rembrants organization may be a great way to get more information on doing art and teaching art.  I will look into it. 

When beginning art as therapy with new client, begin with familiar mediums: pens, pencils, crayons, pastels, charcoals (dry materials).  When working with “wet” materials, you are involving a different part of the brain, and therefore are gearing toward a different approach to the “therapy”.  Water colors and acrylics may be a way to express more of being “out of control”.  Pencils and pens can create more detail in the pictures.

Remember it’s not about the technique, but about the process. 

Think about; color, form, line, symbol.  Share what you are feeling.

In terms of ethics on a “group” level, all of these rules need to be implemented:

1.                Respect for self and others

2.                No judgement (laughing at, criticizing, etc)

3.               What you see and hear in the group setting needs to stay in the group

4.                 Don’t force anyone to do the art, the exercise

When thinking about my research paper, consider the idea of explaining  “My Path”.  Mimi Ofarrell   Henson’s book:  Living the Connection, and  Spirituality and Art Therapy

The more I learn about art as therapy, the more I am loving it!!!  I've only scratched the surface of this amazing technique of accessing the problem solving part of the brain, and am extremely excited about learning more.  Thanks Jenn for hanging in there with me, even though we are on two different paths.   I really appreciate you sharing your knowledge of the field with me.  

Two of my one on one visits with instructor Jenn Kristel.

My responses to my two hours of one on one with my instructor Jenn Kristel, on two learning visits.

       The first visit was mostly to give me an overview of the types of art projects she has done with people in therapy.  One particular directive that intrigued  me was the paper on oil (on plexiglass) to do scribbles and color expression.   I look forward to trying that one myself.  Another project that impressed me with compassion was the one someone felt urged to sculpt when dealing with years of sexual abuse.  I hope she found her healing.  I look forward to sculpting, and teaching others to sculpt as a way of expression and making concrete a particular struggle as a way to find release.

I found my two pencil sketches quite rewarding, especially in expressing some release in my struggle for time management.  Seeing it all on paper was actually a blessing to me.  I had really struggled with not being reelected as secretary of the ladies committee I was on, after being on the committee for ten plus years.  And that was one thing I had to put in God’s hand (politics)  So, seeing that it was actually a blessing in disguise,  after putting it on paper, has given me a new sense of release and freedom. 

I have struggled with the admonition I received from Jenn regarding my skills as a future therapist in dealing with all sorts of religions and cultures.  And I feel that I must state, that I am comfortable talking with whoever comes into the Thrift Shop I manage and connecting on many levels with all of the people that come in.  I never want to offend anyone with my faith.  I simply look for open doors of opportunity to share it with those I feel may need it and may at least want to hear my point of view.  I never force my beliefs on anyone, ever.   As a Christian, I know not everyone will desire to see or hear my point of view, and so I wait for opportunities, even though they are far and few between.  My healing has come through Christianity, so that’s what path I have chosen.  I respect others who have chosen different paths, but also stand firm on my beliefs. 

I’m looking forward to my next piece of directive art of expression.  Not sure what it will be, but I will spend more time studying the Art Sourcebook, and I’m sure an inspiration will come soon.

Swept under the Carpet Directive #2 Pencil sketch

Thinking about imaging in dealing with present struggles is something that I will find pretty easy to do.  I have always been an avid user of idioms/metaphors to help get my message across.  And to make an image on paper is challenging in the sense of my limited art abilities, but satisfying in being able to show my inner thoughts with a little more gravity.  Because of my having been challenged in my inner "man" through the Art is a Way of Knowing  book, I have been able to work through, almost completely, a struggle that I have been dealing with on a small and large scale.  And that is the fact that I think all too often we "sweep" things "under the rug", rather than talk about them and get them resolved.  It's sad to think that so many relationships are jeopardized because of poor communication skills and poor mediation skills.  I was able to bring the metaphor of "sweeping things under the rug" up to someone in leadership in my life who I feel may be in a position to help.  I'm hoping they take note of my concern and do something proactive so that we don't "sweep things under" and ignore them, hoping they will go away,  as often.  Last Spring, I had been told by one of these leaders that they'd like to see more unity in our organization, and my response was that I felt good communication would definitely help that to happen.  A great quote that goes along with this metaphor would be something like:  "Eventually you will trip on whatever it is you swept under the rug".

If you see the very large hand holding the rug, that is because I have had to take my concerns to the All-Mighty and leave them in His hand.  If and when He ever tells me to own what I need to own regarding the "lump" under the rug, I want to do that, and take measures to resolve it.  But when He tells me that He will take care of it, I need to trust that in due time, He will take care of it.  I'm reminded oft' times of Joseph in the pit for many years because of the lies that had been told about him and because his own brothers didn't like him and had him sold off into slavery.  I have to remember how Joseph must have gone through a whole myriad of emotions in dealing with all of that, but how in the end, God used him mightily to save an entire nation.  His time of being in the"pit" humbled him.  And I have been humbled by how I have been treated by others. God sees/has seen it all and is working all things out together for my good.

Pencil Sketch. Ellen's self image of present (Directive #1)

I see myself as one busy lady.  I consider myself a "project" person, never really satisfied unless I have lots of things going on in my life where I can see progress.  I have had a few things that have disappeared from being time consuming this past year for which I am grateful.  You see those things at the bottom of the page. You see me smiling as I keep myself busy and "out of trouble" in all of these endeavors.  But you also see me with "sweat" pouring down my brow as I struggle to keep things in proper priority and in balance.  I consider myself to have a bit of attention deficit, so the items must be items that interest me and hold my attention.  It's difficult for me to focus, but when I do, I can get a lot done.
Plate 1:  My relationship with God. This includes all I do that revolves around obeying Him and what He has given me to do for Him in His Word.  That begins with my surrender to Him and His Word, then trust, then obedience.  I have a wonderful life filled with joy and excitement as I let all that I say, do and plan to do revolve around pleasing Him.
Plate 2:  My wonderful family; of strong and loving husband who is the spiritual leader of my home and provider for me and the kids; Four beautiful children; John who is the oldest, 25, is off in the Navy serving overseas on a submarine, but stationed out of Washington; Grace  who is 22, just moved back home after completing her Bachelors degree in Theology and is now working at a local daycare.  Paul Gene; he just moved to New York to attend Long Island University and study as well as run track.  We're hoping he can figure out the finances to be able to complete his studies there.  Philip, my "baby", is a senior in High School and not sure what he wants to do with his life yet.  In the meantime, he is enjoying his senior year, doing sports and being very congenial and super friendly to everyone he meets.
Plate 3: I have begun a Thrift Shop in South Burlington, right on Williston Road.  For the past five years, it has been run by a few church volunteers, on a part time basis.  We have outgrown the space we are in, and are looking for a larger space, even though we have only been making enough money to pay the rent.  I'm looking forward to this possiblity and maybe even combining our church space with it.  We're hoping to get more visibility in the community with this project so we can do more to let our light shine.
Plate 4: My hobbies have been: my dogs; Daisy who is a Brittish lab, very sweet and loving, and Ginger, a labradoodle who I'm teaching how to jump rope.  I also love to go kayaking, fishing, and do art, when I can find time.
Plate 5:  Right now, I'm seeing a dream come true for pursuing a Master's degree.  I never really knew what kind of a degree to pursue until a gal came into  the thrift shop and told me she was planning to get a degree in Expressive Arts therapy.  I heard all of the bells and whistles going off in my head.  I figured with my basic back-round in drama, music and art that this might just be the avenue I needed to try.  Because of my desire to help people, not just entertain for the sake of entertaining, this degree of "Art and Mental Health" has me super excited. And I've been wanting to take classes to help me be a better artist, and this will be my avenue to do that.  Taking two classes a semester (as long as the finances hold up), seems challenging, but workable with the present schedule I have with everything else going.  I have the support of my family which is  a huge piece toward making this happen.  I am full of joy!
Plate 6 and so on:  I know there will be other plates coming in to play in my life, and I should have sketched in some floating out there in "space", because that's just what kind of person I am.  I look forward to all that my future holds.  I also know I have not gone into detail about what plates 1 - 5 entail, but have just given you a brief overview.
I have turned other plates from this past year upside down to show that they are no longer a part of my focus. I appreciate the fact that I have had these other "things" to do in my life, but I'm perfectly content not having them to free up my time for more important things.  Some of those things were very hard to let go of, but they helped to make me who I am.

I have enjoyed reading two of my Art therapy books. I should have Art as a Way of Knowing, and the Art Therapy Sourcebook   completed in the next couple of days.  I also plan to do as my two art directives sketches of:  my present life in summation; a present relationship that I have struggled with for several years.  These will be done this week.  I will post the pictures as well as give explanations to the sketches.  I am not a very good drawer, but am looking forward to doing the exercises.  I may be helping to watch a three year old while her mother goes into rehab, so I may be able to start a bit of art with her, helping her to have an avenue to express herself.  I'll be sure to keep it light in nature because I'm just an "outsider" trying to be a support to the family.

The beginning of my journey toward my Master's Degree in Arts and Mental Health

I am Ellen Lyon,  a 57 year old woman, mother of four, "stay at home mom", supportive wife of Pastor Lyon, and manager of our church thrift shop.  I am embarking on a new journey toward my Master's Degree in Art and Mental Health.  After completing the first class in Qualitative Research, I am confident that I have the skills to proceed to the further challenges of what the college will expect of me.  I look forward to learning new skills in art as I explore different mediums.  And I especially look forward to being creative in the reflections that come from each project.  As I continually apply different art principles to my personal life, I am able to confirm the pieces of wisdom I have picked up along life's journey.  It will be exciting to be able to post pictures of my art pieces and include those reflections in this blog.  Having this blog available for my teachers will enable them to make  comments to critique and encourage me in this way of learning and documenting my works.

I try to make art a part of my every day life.  I enjoy being creative every chance I get.  When I am creative, it fills a need in me to express myself in a colorful way.  If I'm in the kitchen creating a meal, or dessert, I never make it the same way twice, because that takes the fun out of it.  If I'm painting a picture, I feel free to experiment and just enjoy the colors that I put on the fabric or canvas.  If I had my way and had more time, I would be painting or creating something with my hands every day.

I have several art goals that I see for my near future.  One is to be able to complete my Masters in Art and Mental health so that I can have an avenue to help others who are struggling to find their life purpose. Another is to be able to find my niche in the art world and blossom to the point of becoming a successful artist. By successful, I mean making enough art that I can sell it, and interesting and/or beautiful enough that others will buy it.   Thirdly, I 'd like to be comfortable "drawing from within", something I've never really thought much about before.  If I learn how to do that with ease, it will make it easier for me to help others to do the same, in order for them to express how they are really feeling.

I had the most wonderful time figuring out what to do with an old dresser I’d had trouble selling. I looked for ideas on how to beautify furniture on the Internet and found a beautiful flower that had been stained on  the top of a dresser. I asked my daughter to take a look at the idea to see if she would like to keep the dresser after all. She agreed that it was beautiful and she would be happy if I tried to do a flower on the top of the old dresser. I was able to solicit my son's help in taking off the veneer that was on the drawers and sanding the drawers and was able to get help from my daughter in sanding the top of the dresser to get it ready for staining. After all of the veneer was removed and the top of the dresser was sanded as well as the drawers, I drew designs on the dresser using chalk. Then I began the staining process. I would do the center of the flower with more stain than the outside of the flower. I kept adding stain to the center of the flower because I wanted the center to be darker to allow for contrast . My daughter agreed that two small flowers for the front corners of the dresser would be nice also, so I added them later. The dresser drawers got vines and scrolls and to accent them, the stain was put on the outside of the designs. Later we decided that the coloring wasn't the best so I added cream colored paint to the drawer designs and they turned out very nice. We finished off the dresser with coats of polyurethane to preserve and beautify it.

I really enjoyed the bonding time with my daughter as well as my son on this major project that took a couple of weeks to complete. Sometimes our lives might appear to be like that old dresser, falling apart and ugly and we think “nobody wants it or want me”, but God can take our lives and help us to get rid of the pieces that are falling apart and find ways to make our lives beautiful. He said he would "beautify the meek with salvation". He said he would give us the "oil of joy" in place of mourning. And he said he could restore to us the "years that the locusts have eaten". There is hope when I hold on to God's hand that my future will be even more beautiful than my past.  I actually had the opportunity today to hold the hand of a friend who is addicted to heroin and tell her that she needed to "hold God's hand" to help her do what she knows she needs to do, if not for herself, for her daughter.

As I worked on that dresser with a tiny brush, making the petals on the flowers or the leaves on the vines, I reminded myself that I don't have to be absolutely perfect. My goal is to do my best, take my time and not worry about the teeny tiny imperfections.  I'm looking for the overall beauty of the dresser.  When people look at my life, I want them to see that I am happy and I want them to know that my life is reflecting the hope that I have in God. Just like that dresser has scars because it's old and been around a while, I know my life has scars too.  But I don't have to worry about what other people think of my scars, because they will only be seeing the overall beauty of God's light shining through me. The scars are part of who I am and add depth to my character, but only because I have used the mistakes of my past to draw me closer to God.

The therapy of doing art is very gratifying to me.  I love having a finished product from my efforts that I can look back and admire, as well as enjoy the accolades of others who enjoy it.  Just having a small brush in my hand and making nice curved lines and designs is so satisfying.  It has only been in the last few years that I can actually make something worthwhile.  I'd always thought that to be an artist you needed to be able to pull ideas from the head and put them on paper.  After being mostly self taught during my years of home-schooling, I was able to develop what minimum art skills I do have at this point.  I look forward to experiencing the many new techniques that Burlington College will teach me to develop my Art skills.

The flowers, the vines and the scroll work all have curves.  My violin instructor taught me that in music and in nature, curves reflect beauty.  It's wonderful to take my hand and gently move the marker or the paintbrush into the curved designs, it's therapeutic.  It's therapeutic because  I know what I am making is beautiful and knowing that I am making something beautiful, makes me happy.  When my life lines up to please God, I know He is beautifying me, and that makes me happy too.  Life may have twists and turns, but as long as I learn from my mistakes and keep my eyes on the goal of heaven I'll be fine.  If I fall, I get up, brush myself off and take what I've learned to make me stronger and wiser, so that I don't make the same mistakes again and again.  I need to remember, it's the overall process and the overall product that matters and I need to learn to "hear" the Master Artist applying His brush to my life with His loving hand of guidance.